North Pole Calls for Chimney Inspection Reports: Santa’s Database Incomplete

North Pole Calls for Chimney Inspection Reports: Santa’s Database Incomplete

The North Pole is all a bustle this time of year. The reindeer are in boot camp for the big event, while the North Pole (NP) kitchen is quickly churning out high carb and protein-rich meals for them. The toy-making elves are pulling all-nighters, and the marketing team is busy deciding on the final 2015 gift-wrapping motif.

But there is one issue that is becoming a worry. The North Pole Logistics Team, specifically the Chimney Inspection Unit, are having trouble updating their database this year. Since Quebeckers started removing wood-burning fireplaces and wood stoves back in 2012, it has become increasingly difficult to keep track of who still has a functional chimney. They are calling for the city to send inspectors to report on the state of all Montreal chimneys.

Chimneys are definitely a public health issue. A traditional wood fireplace spews as many fine particle pollutants in the air in nine hours as a car does in an entire year. Santa is aware.

But it would have been nice to have more of a warning. By 2018, 85,000 Montreal fireplaces and wood stoves on the island of Montreal will be removed, converted, or replaced. Rules are posted on the Montreal city web site: Le Règlement concernant les appareils et les foyers permettant l’utilisation d’un combustible solide (only in French.)

For the North Pole, it’s really a communications problem. Santa’s inspectors are requesting that the Quebec government update them on which chimneys have been condemned. “We want to be fully informed of changes leading up to December 24th,” marketing director Elf Lutin said. “We don’t want Santa stuck in any chimneys during his delivery!”

And if you’re not interested in getting rid of your wood-burning appliance, then maybe, at the very least, it would be a good idea to have your chimney swept – especially if you’ve just moved in, and aren’t certain when it was last done. Further, don’t forget to re-install your chimney rain cap after Santa’s Christmas delivery. Birds and racoons don’t normally come bearing gifts!

“We do appreciate it when folks maintain their roof, and clean their chimney regularly,” Santa’s request reads. “Even though Santa’s suit has been engineered to repel soot, it still causes him to sneeze.”

Find further information about Montreal chimney regulations:

Ville de Montreal – chauffage au bois